The Thing We Can Control

“There are some things I can’t control, & that’s just the way it is.”

–Susane Colasanti


I’ve been talking a lot about the topic of control. I used to believe that if I held on REALLY tight and did everything ever-so-perfectly, that life would never surprise me. But that isn’t life, is it? Life is all about surprises. Life is a full spectrum of experience, and sometimes it’s not easy. Honestly, sometimes it straight-up sucks, but there’s always an opportunity to experience that whole experience.
What I’ve learned is that during a crisis when I’m holding tighter than ever (barely allowing myself to even breathe) that I’m missing those other opportunities. Despite the fear and grief, there are moments (glimmers) of joy and laughter and love too. If I’m too busy trying to piece things back together, I’m missing all those other beautiful opportunities.
Loosening control and trying to accept the ebb and flow of life isn’t giving up. Taking things as they give you (and your loved ones) permission to move the focus from that control and shift your perspective onto the things that matter.
Instead of holding onto every piece of your world, fearing it’ll break, try accepting when it does break (or crack or shift) and choose to hold your loved ones and see what happens.
Loosening control doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. Loosening control doesn’t mean you’re ok with what’s happening. Loosening control and being present in each moment just means you’re trying to accept that sometimes things just happen. You’re practicing changing your focusing from all the “what ifs” and “should of’s” onto what’s still here, on what beautiful things were here, and all the beautiful surprises yet to come.
It’s a practice, and it’s not easy, but when you do allow yourself to experience those little glimmers, then that darkness doesn’t feel quite so lonely.🖤✨

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Hello! My name is Britney and I am a writer specializing in life writing.

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