Before you learn how to write a love letter, you may wonder if it’s worth the effort? Love letters are a beautiful form of expression that’s been around for thousands of years. But while some may wonder whether the love letter has lost its power and relevance in the digital world, I believe the love letter is as important today as ever—So, how do you write a love letter in 7 steps?
How to write a love letter in 7 steps
Step 1: Consider why you’re writing this love letter
Why are you writing a love letter? I’m assuming it’s because you want to tell someone special how much they mean to you but go deeper than that. Is the letter for an anniversary (is it your dating anniversary, and you want to express how much the past year together has meant to you)? Is it part of a celebration (did they get a promotion, and you want to tell them how incredible you think they are)? Are you just thinking of them and want them to know it?
Start your letter by letting your loved one know why you’re writing them this letter.
Jac, these past two years together have been the happiest years of my life. As part of my anniversary gift to you, I want to explain just what you mean to me.
Step 2: Share what you love about your relationship dynamic (what makes your relationship so special?)
Every relationship has its own special dynamic, so tell your loved one what you love about your shared dynamic.
From your perspective, share what makes your relationship so unique.
Things haven’t always been easy for us, yet we always preserver as a team—I love that about us. No matter the challenge, no matter the setback, no matter the story, it’s always you and I against the world. I always know you have my back through anything, and I hope you know I’ll always have yours, too. With you at my side, I know anything is possible, and I want you to know that no matter what comes, I’ll be here. I will always choose you, just as you’ve always chosen me.
Step 3: Share a memory (ideally one that builds off the point you made in step 2)
Recalling a special memory, especially one that highlights something you love about your loved one, will have a beautiful impact on them.
Share a loving memory that makes your loved one feel special. If possible, consider picking a memory that emphasizes the point you made in step 2.
As our example from step two highlighted the couple’s strong partnership and commitment to working as a team, I’ll share an example memory to match this theme.
Do you remember the night of that big snowstorm in 2019? I’ll never forget it. You and I woke up to the wind howling, and the neighbourhood all snowed in. It just kept coming down, and everyone on social media was dreading the worst. But you looked at me with the biggest smile, and every concern I had melted away. You grabbed every blanket you could find (I finally see why we need 3000 throw blankets, by the way), and you set us up on the couch.
That night, as we cuddled, covered in blankets and I had no fear about what we were going to be up against in the morning because, at that moment, I held you, my whole world, and I knew it would be ok.
Step 4: Explain qualities you love about your loved one
This is a great place to jump into some specific qualities you love/admire about your loved one. Tell them just how special they are to you and make them really feel it.
Tell your loved one what you love/admire about them.
Jac, this brings me to you and what I love most about you. Did you know you’re the bravest person I’ve ever known? Not because you’re never afraid, but because you always try your best, even when you are afraid. You find hope in every situation, and I see how that hope guides you forward through anything. Not only are you brave and hopefully, but you’re equally kind and thoughtful, too. You have the loveliest spirit I’ve ever seen, and I’m so honoured to get to know you and love you.
Step 5: Tell them what you want for your future
This doesn’t have to be a proposal or some concrete promise but let your loved one know what you see for your future together.
Share what you see for your future with your loved one.
Honestly, there are no words that properly explain just what you mean to me, but I hope this letter has given you an idea. If nothing else, I want you to know that I love you with my whole heart, and I see so much more joy, laughter, and adventure ahead of us, side by side, and I hope that makes you as excited as it does for me.
Step 6: Thank them for being part of your life
It can be a powerful gesture to thank your loved one for being in your life. We can choose to take separate paths and build relationships with many different people, so choosing someone to be in your life is a big deal and deserves acknowledgement. Extra points if you can tie it back in with your original purpose for writing the letter (identified in step 1).
Thank your loved one for being in your life.
Jac, I’ll end this simply: thank you. Thank you for walking this life with me this past year. Thank you for your kindness, your grace, your love, and your laughter. You are my best friend and the love of my life–I love you so much.
Step 7: Sign your letter
Don’t forget to sign your name at the end! While you can certainly just write your name, choosing a special sign-off can be a sweet gesture.
Sign your letter.
With all my love,